Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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