exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
