I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
