Define "chronic" masturbator.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
