I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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