girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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