So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
