I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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