I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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