Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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