With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
