Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
