im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
