Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
