He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
