he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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