maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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