sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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