Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
third nipple confirmed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
