the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
