Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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