P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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Bring me that man meat
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.