You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
