I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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