The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
