Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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