im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
