nut hugger
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
