"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
