no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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