idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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