so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
