i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
