I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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