butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
