i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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