kristin has been a bad kristin
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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