I cannot find my penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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