I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
