I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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