I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
