I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
