we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
