Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
