I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
