Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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