so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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