I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's like God shit irony all over that family
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
