Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
