I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
