Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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