come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize