____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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