so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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