gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the condom got lost in my hair
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
