i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
