grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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