I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she told me i tasted like america
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
